Archive for surrender

Who Would Have Thought?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 16, 2014 by Her Broken Wing

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It’s been 4 1/2 years now… I have been through hell and back… the funny thing is, I remember saying, “if I just get clean…” I thought to myself, life would be easy peasy… boy was I wrong. that was the easy part… life has been hard … finding out why I did (do) what I do. Going back in time and undoing the hard stuff that has happened in my life. What is the saying, “Life isn’t for sissy’s?” yea I get that now.

So, through my constant battle of staying sober, clean, and battling an eating disorder … I am proud no grateful to say, I am clean, sober … and here and now working with those with the same afflictions. I am using my nursing degree to work in the mental health field.

I have spent the last 3 years working in an area I was pretty much miserable in. But saying that, grateful for that opportunity to learn something and meet new people. Yes, through all this, I am learning gratitude.

I had pretty much came to the point I needed to move on but didn’t know how. So… God did for me what I could not do for myself. Oh yes, I had moments of uncertainty, insecurity, worry and all that. But I surrendered it all and God just showed up… amazingly. As HE ALWAYS DOES…

I would like to say life is perfect now… It is not. I am going through a lot as we speak. But I trust God has my back. so I will not look back… Only forward to the goal ahead. (Phill 3:14)

So… who would have thought… today, I’d be here….and you’d be here..

Much love, Connie

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Living In An Extraordinary World

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 21, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

Some days I was living an extraordinary life in an ordinary world… other days, I was trying to survive an ordinary life in an extraordinary world.

Mostly, I would vacillate between the two.

Not sure which I preferred, I found out it really didn’t matter. I was unseen and forgotten a majority of days. Maybe I was too ordinary…. Or contrarily— in a sad sense.

It was a funny thing—my disease. I discovered one day quite by accident I could take “the pills and the booze” and they would make me come alive in my own little world (or so I thought). I was flying over mountain tops. I was finally somebody. Now all my days were extraordinary. “Beautiful”, I thought.

This time of ecstasy was short-lived, however.

The subsequent highs were never as good as the first. And it was not long before my body begged for more. It took more and more to get me to a place where I could just function as an ordinary person.

The disease is all cunning, baffling and powerful—it sneaks up on you. It bites you before you realize you are bitten. (John 8:44)…

This disease spoke to me… whispers in the night… lured me like a lover and then left me cold and alone.

Despair is a powerful motivator.

Standing at the River of Sorrow—the tears came and I finally surrendered.

“Good”, I say.

Today, I am an extraordinary person in an extraordinary world….

Beautifully Awkward