Archive for ephesians

The Whisper of Lies

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 25, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

Through the wound of my heart, I have witnessed the secret. I have tasted defeat. And now…it would take an act of something bigger than me, maybe a fleeting “Wonder” to dislodge this self-deception and lies betrothed to my soul.

He sauntered slowly behind me, he was there even in my sleep, and his whispers of promises were beautiful and breathtaking… in the beginning.

He allured me to places I’d never been. His seduction was easy. He knew everything about me and the precise words to speak. Sadly, the sound of his voice was to only draw me to a deeper place and deceive my inmost being.

And I went.

Two lovers of self.

In this place that I existed, it was dark. It was cold. I was alone. The beauty of his words had disappeared.

The voices from my precious life had been obscured. There was only the one voice left—mine.

You did this to yourself.”

I was left with reflections of my meaningless time here in this place and I no longer recognized the person I had became. Or so I thought. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

Time would pass, much time before…

 …This place around me began to crumble. And through the tremendous darkness, a “Light” shone through the cracks in my survival.

And then I heard:

“Wake up, O Sleeper,

Rise from the dead,

And Christ will shine on you.” Eph 5:14

Beautifully Awkward

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Measuring Cup of Life

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 20, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

(Ephesians 3:16-19) “I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Have you ever rummaged through the pantry looking for something to eat, you fix a sandwich –eat it and find that it did not satisfy your hunger. So you look around some more, nuke a pizza, eat a slice—nah, that isn’t it either. Tubs of Rocky Road (and a hand full of mini marshmallows) ice cream later, loads of Tums for the displeased belly and still you are no more satisfied than when in the beginning.

We tend to live life-like that. We aren’t satisfied with our life. Thus, we begin our search.

Those of us “holics” and I believe that would include us all…Just plug in our own addiction or if we would prefer–something we do in excess or where we are lacking moderation.

  1. Do you shop too much (how many pairs of red shoes can one person need?),
  2. Serve the church for adoration rather than out of love,
  3. Are you constantly blaming others,
  4. Worship money or spending it on things and
  5. Leaving bills unpaid, anger problems,
  6. Can’t eat enough and don’t take care of your body (are you overweight), do you have an eating disorder,
  7. Are you someone with a drinking problem or a problem with drugs –as in my case.
  8. And yes, even with all this technology of Blackberries and Iphones they have caused a new breed of greed of its’ own evil generation.

Work—this hits home to most all of us, we are so wrapped up in our work—it defines us—it gives us our acceptances…it is our life and self-worth. People are at times driven to a career because of whom they will become not the life they will serve. The consequences of this can and usually will be very grave.

Our world has become a world of excess– Nothing we do is done in moderation any longer. *All excess is rooted in emptiness. We were born with a need and desire to fill our physical body, soul and spirit with something and that something is Jesus Christ.

*Imagine starting each day with a 16 oz. measuring cup. We fill it up in the morning about 2 oz. full of wonderful succulent fresh squeezed orange juice. But the rest of the day, we spend seeking someone to fill the remainder of our cup.

Had we started out the day with the full cup, we would not have the need to “suck the life or juice” from others to fill the remnants of our cup. And I can say with great confidence that whatever I gather into my cup will not be as wonderful as what I started my day with for it will most likely be someone else’s left over’s and not God’s best.

Lessons I have learned:

So, I now must renew my mind and let go of all the junk and the stinking thinking (Romans 12:2)! There will always be people, situations and circumstances that just happen. We can’t change that. And maybe that is a good thing! Deep down I knew I couldn’t anyway. I’ve tried that and well, it doesn’t work.

But I can change me.

I can let the SON shine in on me each morning so that I can hold out my cup up and say, fill it to the brim with Him.

When I am empty, I want to fill that gnawing hunger pain. Depending on my emptiness, determines what I fill in place of that hunger.  And depending on what I fill that emptiness with will determine what controls my life. It is then according to the controls installed as a byproduct of these situations of circumstances of my life that will now become the produce of my life.

Good …

Bad…

It doesn’t matter because I am no longer in control…the paradox of it all.

Today, I am letting go (again) …

*Some examples taken from Beth Moore’s Measureless Love DVD guide

Beautifully Awkward

Beautifully Awkward

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 27, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

I remember when I was in my twenties; I walked out of the church and for absolutely no apparent reason fell flat on my face. It felt like I was in one of those cartoons and I was going down in slow motion. When I hit the ground, all I could think of was–Did anyone see me! Let’s face it—I was never given the gift of grace in a physical sense at least.

Years later, I was running with some friends and as I went to kick a rock, I missed the rock, went flying into the air and twisted my ankle, again—not very graceful. My friends pulled me aside into a pile of leaves while they went to get the car, little did they know they left me in a bed of ants.

Oh, my stories are endless.

Unfortunately the humor eventually began to fade. These past few years when I began to have more and more car accidents (fender benders mostly), my family just assumed it was my typical lack of grace. We laughed it off initially.  But in time, my husband began to get concerned and he started probing into my stories, just not too deep. I think he was afraid of what he might find. And I was not going to tell him. I’m not sure I could.

One night a show came on called Intervention. It was about drug-addicts and helping them come clean. The husband on the show discussed how many car accidents his wife had recently had and how he believed her stories in the beginning.  She tried to pass the accidents off as being distracted with the children. For a while, he bought into her stories.

My husband watched the show intently.    I… Held…My… Breath.

I will never forget the look on my husband’s face. I knew then he knew. It wasn’t long after that before everything about my nightmarish life came bursting forth from the darkness (Eph. 5:8-14). And I have never seen such a horrendous obsession destroy someone –who had everything– in such an unbelievable force and swiftness. It left me breathless.

And I was down for the count. I had fallen from grace. I was as awkward as the day I fell in front of hundreds at church .

And now, I wondered—did anyone see me fall!

And then as I was as low as I could go, I looked up, and there were these beautiful hands reaching for me…And I heard Him whisper– Beautifully Awkward –you are my daughter.

Given a new grace…I have come to love myself so that I may now love you.

Beautifully Awkward