Archive for 1 Kings

My Grace

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 8, 2012 by Her Broken Wing

Somewhere in the middle of whom I was and who I am, the play ground of my mind resonates with reckless abandon. Leaving me between my common sense and intellect.  Like the teetering of a child’s seesaw, I waiver on my position in God’s world.

Who am I? Who does God want me to be? More so, what have I become? And I ponder the thought. Is my faith in the shallow end or have I been immersed into the deep? Do I listen to the roar of His call or to His still small voice? (1 Kings 19:11-13)

Some days I am content and some days I want more. And in those days, I reach up and grab a hold.

Truth is… I don’t regret where I’ve been for it has led me to the road I’m on today. A road less traveled—some would say. For sure, some would not have. But it is the thorn to bear and it is mine. And I will know that no matter how tough things get, I will hear the Father‘s voice…..

 So for who I may become, I give praise…and if I forget to say thank you…Your grace astounds me.

That you may find me in my chosen place; and I may hear the Father say, “My Grace.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Beautifully Awkward

And Freedom Rings

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 20, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

Defective relations along the way have been many a cause of my woes….Not just the relationship with family and friends but God.  The further into my addiction I fell, the more difficult it was to hear the calls of my Heavenly Father…

Willingness to submit to God’s will was an awkward thing for me. In the beginning it was a conscious and painstaking effort. Then my awareness of this stirring became more of a discomfort and unease.  I was self-righteously right on all accounts in every relationship. This only caused more strife in my life.

Once I came to a point of complete brokenness, I had nothing left to interfere with the voice of God. Through my powerlessness, I came to believe a power greater than myself and I could hear that still small voice reaching out to me. (1 Kings 19:11-13) A tremendous love beckoned me. (1 Jn 4:10)

I had been my own worst enemy.

A few pills won’t hurt anyone….But it did.

For a moment in my brief life, I have resolved there is still time… time to clear the wreckage. I sift through the pains of yesterday. I pick up the pieces of scattered sorrows, some I leave.

Discomfort and unrest have now caused me to take action…my unmanageable life is now lived through the love of God…

There is a choice now for I am free.

And Freedom Rings….

Beautifully Awkward

The Whisper of Stillness

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 26, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

I am discombobulated. But my world is just fine. I have no real reason for this feeling. My insides are in turmoil. I am trying to pray for peace but even that is hard to do now. So, I have to tell You God, “I’m not doing too well on this spiritual flight…”

Chaos–the life of an addict.

I guess I keep waiting for something supernatural or some terrific explosion to happen as I go frolicking through the meadows of continual bustle and everlasting hopelessness. Commotion and lots of it… that is what I am used to. It seems disarray is when and where God usually turns up in my life—or so it seems. His presence is always needed for me to finally settle and to feel an inner peace.

I am reminded of this scripture,” 11 The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by. “ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” (1 King 19:11-12)

God was in the gentle whisper…

I go back into another time in my life when my pitiful existence was crumbling like a stale cookie. I was walking through the exhibit at a meeting I was attending. A lady walked up to me and handed me a little statue of a child. On the bottom of the child was the scripture, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) When I looked up to thank the lady, she was gone. How did she know?

Now, I try to remember that when life gets crazy and when I am discombobulated to “Be still…” and listen for “….the gentle whisper…” of God’s sweet voice.

For that is when I will find my Heavenly Father ready to untangle the mess I have created.

Beautifully Awkward